i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
