I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
