So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
