Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Two words: blizzard sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
