you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i now understand why vodka
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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