I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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