i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I need help removing her.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize