She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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