Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
