if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
