Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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