when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize