Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
