we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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