I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize