I have demons in me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
