You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
