I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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