So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Damn victory sex feels great
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
