so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
