You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize