TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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