My hair reeks of homosexuality.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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