Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
