how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
