yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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