THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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