She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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