Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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