my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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