So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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