do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
