There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
