she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
