He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
