At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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