i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
