i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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