the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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