Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize