Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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