Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
