you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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