Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
