she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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