Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
