I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
