Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
