You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
