That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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