so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i think i have herpe
just one?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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