You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
