My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
