Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize