I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
