names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
