i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
