I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
