I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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