New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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