they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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